I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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