You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
