I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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