Sponge bath it is.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
