yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
