Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
