Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
