I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
