On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
