That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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