we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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