Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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