I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
