SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
