How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
