He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
