Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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