I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
