Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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