You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
