So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize