'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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