Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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