omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am naked and annoyed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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