theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
