Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
