she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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