I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
