I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
