bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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