So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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