Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
