Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
