we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
