all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
