Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
