Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I CAN MOONWALK!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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