Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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