Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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