I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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