Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
