Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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