GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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