If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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