Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My room smells like vodka and shame
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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