So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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