doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
