question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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