If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
