have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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