I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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