just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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