If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize