I'm drive I can fine osifer
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
