a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize