You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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