using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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