i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
