I swear she didn't look like that last week.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
