why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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