that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
