Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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