I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
