Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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