If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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