Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, beer. Big fan.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
