So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
